All The Things You Love That I Hate

This is going to be the most controversial post I ever write. I may even lose readers (and there’s only 6, so that’s rough). A few years ago when my husband and I were at his college reunion, a large group of us went out to breakfast after a long night of drinking (and by drinking, I mean I had water because I was pregnant, but everyone else had a hell of a time drinking non-water drinks). At one point, one of the girls said we should go around the table and each say something that we think is overrated, but is beloved by everyone else. Everyone’s answers were pretty tame, like the Beatles and Arrested Development. When it got to me, I said the first thing that popped into my mind, which was the movie The Princess Bride. You would think that I had just run over a small puppy and was wearing it as a hat – that is how disappointed everyone looked. I quickly tried to move the conversation on, and a couple people later was my friend Amy, who was also the wife of one of the college friends rather than the actual friend (we knew our place), and she said “animal pictures on Facebook.”* If you thought these people didn’t like my answer, you should have seen them after this! They were imagining running into her on the streets and telling their respective dogs to “Sic her! Sic her, Melonball!”

*I did not include this below, but I also don’t really look at animal pictures on Facebook. I realize I am a total asshole for saying that I don’t care that much about pictures of your pets, but you should know that I don’t expect you to care about pictures of my kid. So let’s just put that out there and move on with our lives. Although I do like the combination of kids AND pets because they’re like little friends and that’s funny.

What Was I Doing in the Early 2000’s?

Ever since Gilmore Girls was added to Netflix a few months ago, I’ve been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls. Not only do I love the show, but it has made me reminisce about some of the most formative years of my life – the early 2000’s. Every critical scene includes the soundtrack of a song that narrated my late teens and early twenties. Something pivotal will happen to Rory and I’ll think, “Oh, I remember driving around listening to this song with [insert name of good friend I’m still good friends with because I live within miles of most of my best friends in the city I grew up in. Cuz that’s how we roll up in the MN!].” Or there will be some random pop culture reference to something or someone I haven’t thought about in 15 years (that’s some sad math I just did). They also make living in a teeny tiny town and drinking coffee in the same diner every day seem so appealing, but that’s a completely different blog post for another time.

We know that Rory was watching movies with Dean, or listening to music with Lane, or having the most amazing mother/daughter relationship with her cool, fast talking mother. But here’s the important question you should be asking – what was I doing in the early 2000’s??? (I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about me. Stop being such an egomaniac. It’s really unattractive).

The Leaves Change, and So Do My Scheduled Recordings on the DVR, Part 2

As a continuation of my two-part blog post about all the many shows I watched this fall, here are the final four (oh, I think understand college basketball all of a sudden). This batch includes my favorite and least favorite of all the programs I watched. I know you’re dying of curiosity, so read on!

The Leaves Change, and So Do My Scheduled Recordings on the DVR, Part 1

Sometimes I get so abnormally excited about the promise of new fall TV shows that it feels like I fill my date card with a new one every hour. And this year was no exception. There were so many shows I wanted to watch, but at the same time, I couldn’t abandon my old shows (I still have to pay attention to them. It’s like having a second child – how do you split your time and love? It’s tough, but so rewarding), so I narrowed it down to the top 8 highest potential programs. They mostly had to involve romance, New York, teenagers, a preview with indie music, or Batman.

You should have seen my DVR after week 1! It was like “…coming home…but to no home I..I had ever known” (Tom Hanks, Sleepless in Seattle). It was beautiful, and I want to share my excitement with you. There was a lot of wine drunk and a lot of tortilla chips dipped in salsa while sitting on my couch in order to get through this challenge…that I created for myself. In fact, there were so many shows and I wrote so many things, that I had to break this post into two parts. I find that both sad (so much time on my couch), and happy (my couch was so comfortable and kind to me!). In the end, there were a few duds, but I also found some keepers, so it was all worthwhile. Just like having a second kid! And by kid, I of course mean television show.

The 8 Most Shocking Things I Learned from “The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story”

Yes, I watched the Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, and yes, I wrote it on my personal calendar so I wouldn’t forget. And yes, I still have a paper calendar and planner that I use at all times. Screw you and your modern technology! My planner tells me when all the full moons will be, and ALL of the time zones. Can your fancy phone do that?!? That’s what I thought.

Orange Is the New Black, Season 2: An Excuse to Sit On Your Couch for 12 Hours Straight!

Last summer, I started hearing a lot of chatter about some show called Orange Is the New Black, airing on Netflix. Here were my initial thoughts, in this order:

1. Is it about fashion? That sounds fun.

2. If it’s not about fashion, it’s probably a violent drama and I already hate it.

3. But if I like it, it’s on Netflix, which means that I can watch the episodes at any pace that I want, which is so appealing.

4. If so many people like it, it’s probably very good, therefore I will probably not like it. I am quite contrary, and I have questionable taste.

5. I’m hungry. I want a hoagie.

Then I probably went and ate a hoagie. Man, that sounds so good right now. What were we talking about?

Louie Louie Louie Louieee

Before I jump right into my rant about why I think Louie is insanely brilliant and everyone should watch it, I will quickly fill in those that currently do not. Louie stars stand-up comedian Louis C.K. as a stand-up comedian named Louie. So meta. He is a divorced father of two (just like in real life, you guys!) and he gets into all sorts of precarious situations on a daily basis. He’s like Larry David, but because he is much nicer and not as inappropriate, weird things just happen TO him, rather than him causing awkward situations because he says whatever comes to his head with no filter.

“The Mindy Project” Fills the “30 Rock”-Size Hole In My Heart

When Mindy Kaling left The Office to pursue her own sitcom, I honestly thought that there was no way that she could create a better character than the one and only Kelly Kapoor. Kelly Kapoor was painfully funny, and had all the best lines. Yeah, yeah, Steve Carrell is a genius and Michael Scott was one of the best characters ever, but he never got to be quite as overly dramatic as Kelly.

Let’s Talk About How I’m Dealing with the “How I Met Your Mother” Finale. Quick Answer – Not Well.

The time came and went, my friends. The time I had been dreading for years – Monday night was the series finale of How I Met Your Mother. I almost didn’t want to blog about this because I have too much to say and too many emotions to deal with. I’m only one woman. I can’t drown in a puddle of my grieving, confused tears because I got bills to pay and shit to do. But I felt like I would be letting myself down if I took the time to write about Juan Pablo, but didn’t spend a few minutes reflecting on my favorite sitcom of all-time.

In (Slight) Defense of Juan Pablo

We all watched the finale of The Bachelor on Monday night (you know you did, so just stop with the denial), and I think we can all agree it was one of the most awkward endings we’ve seen yet. And since they are all awkward in one way or another, that speaks volumes to the level of uncomfortable we were faced with.