So You Think You Can Dance – Top 20

I was a bit underwhelmed this week. Sure, there were some standout routines, but overall here’s what I’m always thinking: wait, which blonde ballroom dancer is that? Hold up, which petite brunette is that again? Wait a minute, is he also a ballerina learning to relax, “Save the Last Dance” style?

She is REALLY learning to relax! Look at her posture!

I did LOVE the group number (way to go, Christopher Scott, who I always forget about because I don’t really know who you are).

I’m looking at this picture and I already forgot who you are again.

But the highlight was the Travis Wall piece to “Unchained Melody.” Travis Wall is like the new Mia Michaels to me, in that I like almost everything he does and I get excited about it. The girl in this is one of the petite brunettes I can’t tell apart and the dude looks like Ryan Gosling (don’t get too cocky, poor man’s Ryan. You look vaguely like him). Apparently they have real names, which are Matthew and Audrey. I prefer to refer to them as Unidentified and Ryan, though, so feel free to follow suit. Not only does Unidentified do a giant leap into Ryan’s arms when the music gets big, but when she is laying on top of him and arches her back into the air, I have a heart attack because that takes some major back muscles. It is gorgeous. Watch for it. If it doesn’t make your back hurt out of empathy, I don’t know what will. Empathy back pain is a highly underrated emotional state.

Music: “Unchained Melody” Righteous Brothers

So You Think You Can Dance is on Wednesdays on Fox.

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Real Housewives of New York City is Back!

I watch a lot of “Real Housewives.” I have never tried to hide this. For some reason, though, I only like certain casts. My favorite, hands down, is “Real Housewives of New Jersey.” What I used to like about it is that they were all so close and Caroline Manzo was the matriarch that brought them all together to hate that hussy Danielle, and it was so nice.

“Uh uh, Danielle. My family is thick as thieves.”

Now they’re all fighting with Teresa and that makes me a little sad. But this cast is just a little more real than all the other housewives (yes, I actually wrote that sentence and am not deleting it), so they remain my favorite. I like OC okay, and Atlanta from time to time. “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” must have been a little too real for me because I watched one episode and felt uncomfortable and had to turn it off. Do you ever get that gross, dead feeling inside after you’ve watched a reality show? I get it constantly. But I choose to ignore it 98% of the time. This show was part of the 2% that made me turn it off.

So You Think You Can Dance – Top 20 Preview

I really like “So You Think You Can Dance.” I used to dance, so it’s fun to watch people remind me that I was never very good.

This is my first installment of my favorite “So You Think You Can Dance” dance of the week. I will do this weekly, whether people like it or not. I also put this as my Facebook post, so there is really no escaping my obsessive pushiness of 3 minute dance clips.

This is the episode where they showcased who made it into the top 20. I have to be honest, I wasn’t gaga over anyone. But then, along came a piece created by Mia Michaels, who always reminds me of how amazingly beautiful choreography can be.

With that said, here is my favorite number of Episode 1! Welcome back, Mia Michaels, you crazy spiky haired lass.

Music: “Eyes” Kaskade

Summertime TV, what are you trying to tell me?

I have always been, and always will be, an indoor kid.

TV teaches us that summers are meant for running around our neighborhoods with our ragtag group of friends, learning valuable life lessons about friendship and community along the way. And while I’m sure this sort of thing is the healthy, rational thing to want to do, I’ve always preferred to watch these scripted adventures play out on the small screen. Do these outdoor kids not realize how hot it is out there? Don’t even get me started on the humidity. And all that sunshine – it’s so bright! I’m getting a squinting-headache just thinking about it.

I could have watched a mash up of these movies on an infinite loop. all. summer. long.

Growing up, my perfect summer day involved a short list of chores, a box fan, and a freezer full of red-flavored popsicles. I’d guess that a solid 90% of my junior high and early high school summer days home alone were spent in front of the television. I was a champion at finding something I wanted to watch at nearly every time slot – Montel Williams, Maury Povich, Gilligan’s Island, Saved By the Bell, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, American Gladiators, Singled Out; not to mention all of those animated shorts on Liquid Television that I was far too young and innocent to understand.

Æon Flux: Not porn?

So, why is it that now – after an arduous day at work sitting near-motionless at a desk in an air conditioned office – that I cannot seem to find anything worth zoning out to when I get home? I can assure you that my tastes have not improved that much over the years. And yet I cannot find it in me to sit through a full episode the likes of American Ninja Warrior, or Love in the Wild, or America’s Got Talent (maybe I should just give up on NBC?).

I know, I know – There are certainly some bright spots out there for us indoor-inclined. True Blood is back, Breaking Bad returns in August, and So You Think You Can Dance is a long-time summer staple. But when my Hulu queue is near-empty at the end of the week, I can’t help but feel like TV is trying to passive aggressively force me to go out and live life.

And you know what TV? I do not appreciate your judgemental tone.