All The Things You Love That I Hate

14 Jul

This is going to be the most controversial post I ever write. I may even lose readers (and there’s only 6, so that’s rough). A few years ago when my husband and I were at his college reunion, a large group of us went out to breakfast after a long night of drinking (and by drinking, I mean I had water because I was pregnant, but everyone else had a hell of a time drinking non-water drinks). At one point, one of the girls said we should go around the table and each say something that we think is overrated, but is beloved by everyone else. Everyone’s answers were pretty tame, like the Beatles and Arrested Development. When it got to me, I said the first thing that popped into my mind, which was the movie The Princess Bride. You would think that I had just run over a small puppy and was wearing it as a hat – that is how disappointed everyone looked. I quickly tried to move the conversation on, and a couple people later was my friend Amy, who was also the wife of one of the college friends rather than the actual friend (we knew our place), and she said “animal pictures on Facebook.”* If you thought these people didn’t like my answer, you should have seen them after this! They were imagining running into her on the streets and telling their respective dogs to “Sic her! Sic her, Melonball!”

*I did not include this below, but I also don’t really look at animal pictures on Facebook. I realize I am a total asshole for saying that I don’t care that much about pictures of your pets, but you should know that I don’t expect you to care about pictures of my kid. So let’s just put that out there and move on with our lives. Although I do like the combination of kids AND pets because they’re like little friends and that’s funny.

Girl and her dog

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What Was I Doing in the Early 2000’s?

13 Apr

2000 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

Ever since Gilmore Girls was added to Netflix a few months ago, I’ve been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls. Not only do I love the show, but it has made me reminisce about some of the most formative years of my life – the early 2000’s. Every critical scene includes the soundtrack of a song that narrated my late teens and early twenties. Something pivotal will happen to Rory and I’ll think, “Oh, I remember driving around listening to this song with [insert name of good friend I’m still good friends with because I live within miles of most of my best friends in the city I grew up in. Cuz that’s how we roll up in the MN!].” Or there will be some random pop culture reference to something or someone I haven’t thought about in 15 years (that’s some sad math I just did). They also make living in a teeny tiny town and drinking coffee in the same diner every day seem so appealing, but that’s a completely different blog post for another time.

Gilmore Girls coffee 1Gilmore Girls coffee 2

We know that Rory was watching movies with Dean, or listening to music with Lane, or having the most amazing mother/daughter relationship with her cool, fast talking mother. But here’s the important question you should be asking – what was I doing in the early 2000’s??? (I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about me. Stop being such an egomaniac. It’s really unattractive).

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This Is Why “Birdman” Deserved the Oscar…That It Won.

12 Mar

birdman

It might seem silly to defend why a movie should win an award that it has already won, but I’m just much better at defending things that people already like. I tried writing a post in defense of getting your car towed in the winter, but the only thing I could think of was that you get to meet new people at the tow lot.

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I Love/Hate Valentine’s Day Mix Tapes, Volume 3

12 Feb

Valentine 2015 Continue reading

Tina! Amy! Clooney! The kid from “Annie!” It’s the Golden Globes!

12 Jan

Tina and Amy Golden Globes-lg

– It’s the Golden Globes! The awards ceremony when we not only honor film and television, but we watch celebrities drink endless free champagne! I love this sacred evening.

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I’m A Grown-Ass Woman Who Went to Jingle Ball, and Loved Every Minute of It.

11 Dec

Iggy Azalea

Late last week, I was the lucky recipient of some amazing news – my husband had won two tickets to KDWB’s Jingle Ball, and they were being bestowed upon me. And this is how I was told: “I hope you don’t have plans on Monday night.” After I confirmed that I did not, there was a long pause before he replied with, “Iggy Iggy.” I did not understand what that meant, so there was another pause before he once again sang the words, “Iggy Iggy.” This is when I somehow made the connection that Jingle Ball was on Monday, and that I was going! He’s a great husband, right? Barbra Streisand tickets for me and my mom before we were married; Beyonce tickets right after we had a baby; and now Jingle Ball tickets just for being me! (Well, mostly because he won a drawing, but I think the back-story is that he loves me so much).

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The Leaves Change, and So Do My Scheduled Recordings on the DVR, Part 2

23 Oct

As a continuation of my two-part blog post about all the many shows I watched this fall, here are the final four (oh, I think understand college basketball all of a sudden). This batch includes my favorite and least favorite of all the programs I watched. I know you’re dying of curiosity, so read on!

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The Leaves Change, and So Do My Scheduled Recordings on the DVR, Part 1

17 Oct

Sometimes I get so abnormally excited about the promise of new fall TV shows that it feels like I fill my date card with a new one every hour. And this year was no exception. There were so many shows I wanted to watch, but at the same time, I couldn’t abandon my old shows (I still have to pay attention to them. It’s like having a second child – how do you split your time and love? It’s tough, but so rewarding), so I narrowed it down to the top 8 highest potential programs. They mostly had to involve romance, New York, teenagers, a preview with indie music, or Batman.

You should have seen my DVR after week 1! It was like “…coming home…but to no home I..I had ever known” (Tom Hanks, Sleepless in Seattle). It was beautiful, and I want to share my excitement with you. There was a lot of wine drunk and a lot of tortilla chips dipped in salsa while sitting on my couch in order to get through this challenge…that I created for myself. In fact, there were so many shows and I wrote so many things, that I had to break this post into two parts. I find that both sad (so much time on my couch), and happy (my couch was so comfortable and kind to me!). In the end, there were a few duds, but I also found some keepers, so it was all worthwhile. Just like having a second kid! And by kid, I of course mean television show.

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The 8 Most Shocking Things I Learned from “The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story”

18 Sep

Unauthorized Saved by the BellSaved by the Bell

Yes, I watched the Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, and yes, I wrote it on my personal calendar so I wouldn’t forget. And yes, I still have a paper calendar and planner that I use at all times. Screw you and your modern technology! My planner tells me when all the full moons will be, and ALL of the time zones. Can your fancy phone do that?!? That’s what I thought.

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2014 Emmy Awards! I Have Thoughts!

25 Aug

– First question – why am I watching the Emmys on a Monday?

– Second question – when will Beyonce come out to prove that she and Jay Z are happy? And why hasn’t it happened yet?

blue-ivy-yay-mommy-clapping-adorable

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