Tag Archives: sandlot

Summertime TV, what are you trying to tell me?

5 Jul

I have always been, and always will be, an indoor kid.

TV teaches us that summers are meant for running around our neighborhoods with our ragtag group of friends, learning valuable life lessons about friendship and community along the way. And while I’m sure this sort of thing is the healthy, rational thing to want to do, I’ve always preferred to watch these scripted adventures play out on the small screen. Do these outdoor kids not realize how hot it is out there? Don’t even get me started on the humidity. And all that sunshine – it’s so bright! I’m getting a squinting-headache just thinking about it.

I could have watched a mash up of these movies on an infinite loop. all. summer. long.

Growing up, my perfect summer day involved a short list of chores, a box fan, and a freezer full of red-flavored popsicles. I’d guess that a solid 90% of my junior high and early high school summer days home alone were spent in front of the television. I was a champion at finding something I wanted to watch at nearly every time slot – Montel Williams, Maury Povich, Gilligan’s Island, Saved By the Bell, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, American Gladiators, Singled Out; not to mention all of those animated shorts on Liquid Television that I was far too young and innocent to understand.

Æon Flux: Not porn?

So, why is it that now – after an arduous day at work sitting near-motionless at a desk in an air conditioned office – that I cannot seem to find anything worth zoning out to when I get home? I can assure you that my tastes have not improved that much over the years. And yet I cannot find it in me to sit through a full episode the likes of American Ninja Warrior, or Love in the Wild, or America’s Got Talent (maybe I should just give up on NBC?).

I know, I know – There are certainly some bright spots out there for us indoor-inclined. True Blood is back, Breaking Bad returns in August, and So You Think You Can Dance is a long-time summer staple. But when my Hulu queue is near-empty at the end of the week, I can’t help but feel like TV is trying to passive aggressively force me to go out and live life.

And you know what TV? I do not appreciate your judgemental tone.

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