Tag Archives: Jennifer Lawrence

2014 Academy Awards! (Or That One Time John Travolta Messed Up Idina Menzel’s Name).

3 Mar

Ellen Oscars

– I thought that there was a large group of children behind Ellen when she was coming on stage, but it’s just a lot of fake Oscar statues. Sorry, random 3rd grade choir in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I guess this just wasn’t your year.

– Poor Liza Minnelli! She looks good! What is this, a celebrity roast, Ellen DeGeneres? Liza is a legend who should be respected.

– Wow, John Travolta has magically aged backwards by 44 years. It’s an Academy Awards miracle!

– I bet Meryl Streep always gets front row at the Oscars. Even when she’s not nominated, which I think happened once.

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Tina and Amy! Oh, and the Golden Globes.

13 Jan

Tina and Amy 2014

– Here come Amy and Tina! OMG OMG OMG! They both look like beautiful mermaids that just washed ashore from the funniest, cutest ocean.

– I love the Golden Globes because everybody is drinking champagne and looks all tipsy and relaxed. If I could go to any awards show, I would go to this one. How do I apply to be a seat filler? Because I’ll start gathering my letters of recommendation now.

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Academy Awards Highs and Lows

1 Mar

Oscars 2013

Posted by: Alex

When the Academy Awards started on Sunday, I was all amped up like I usually am on Oscar night. We typically host a tiny Oscar party, but this year we decided to keep it to just the two of us, as we would need to DVR the whole thing so we could pause it while we attempt to put our baby to sleep. We knew this would require approximately 400 pauses, so we chose not to host this time around. Instead, we ate Chinese take-out (we search for any excuse to have Chinese take-out in our house. “Ooh, the SAG awards are on! We should eat Chinese.” “Ooh, looks like Stassi might be an asshole again tonight on Vanderpump Rules. Guess we should eat Chinese,” etc.) and sat around in our comfies to watch the show.

I set up my computer in preparation for the funnies that would pour out of me as I watched the drama unfold. But as Seth McFarlane started his monologue, I noticed that my fingers were hunched over the keyboard, ready to type, and nothing was happening. I had nothing funny to say because I wasn’t thinking any funny thoughts. I was mostly thinking, “Huh. That is sort of amusing what he just said. I don’t think it’s hilarious or shocking, but I also don’t think it’s ridiculously stupid and embarrassing. I just think it’s fine.” And I felt that way throughout the entire broadcast. Seth McFarlane didn’t bomb the whole thing, he just kept it safe. He did enough to not be known as the next Dave Letterman (“Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma.” I actually think this joke was given a bad rap. It’s kind of amusing, if you think about it! Uma and Oprah. What kooky names. See? Is it funny now that I’ve explained it like that?), but not enough to be Billy “I’m here to save the day” Crystal. And I hope his prediction is correct that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will host next year, because that would be maj-ah, as Victoria Beckham would say.

So instead of a play by play, I’m offering some of my highs and lows. Keep in mind that many of my lows might be your highs, and vice versa. For instance, I have a deep dislike for Anne Hathaway that stems from nowhere, and these negative feelings tend to taint everything she says and does. But some people like Anne! Like, really like her! Not even as a practical joke on me! On the other hand, I love Barbra Streisand. Some people, for some reason, do not feel the same affinity towards Babs. I get that. But keep these things in mind, going forward.

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Awful (un)Paid Advertising, Brought to you by Broadcouching

8 Feb
"You're not having fun time if commercials are your favorite part of anything." - Jennifer Lawrence on Conan 2/5/13

“You’re not having fun if commercials are your favorite part of anything.” – Jennifer Lawrence on Conan 2/5/13

Posted by: mthep

In case the Super Bowl was successful in fooling you into thinking that commercials could be cool, listen to my (imaginary) friend up there, and let me remind you that even at their best, they still deserve to be qualified as “pretty good… for a commercial.” They’re loud, obnoxious, and always break into your show just as it’s getting good.

The Super Bowl may be the one time of year commercials are celebrated, but just like your socially conscious hippy aunt reminds you about the real Thanksgiving when all you want to do is eat some mashed potatoes, I’m here to remind you about the real commercials when you’re just trying to watch Amy Poehler work her magic in an attempt to revive a dying mega corporation.

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Silver Linings Playbook is Full of Silver Linings…would be an awesome title for this post.

4 Jan

Posted by: Alex

Happy new year, everyone! My new year’s resolution for 2013 is to accept compliments better. So, before you even tell me how great this post is, and how pretty you think I look today, let me just graciously say “thank you.”

As my first post of the year, I want to make it a point to show that I actually saw a movie while it is in the theaters, and I saw one that will probably be nominated for at least three Academy Awards. And I am making my prediction now that Silver Linings Playbook, while very good, will not take home any awards (I’m making this public, friends who come over to watch the Oscars and fill out our Oscar ballot, because when I win, once again, you’ll know I’m not cheating, which I will undoubtedly be accused of).

I would like to eat in a diner with Bradley Cooper. I mean, if he asked nicely.

I would like to eat in a diner with Bradley Cooper. I mean, if he asked nicely.

One thing I’ve learned about myself over the last couple of years is that I have certain genres of television and movies that I like, and I make no time for the others. I like comedies, the darker the better, because I like to laugh and be jovial, but I prefer my comedy smart. Unless you’re the movie Old School, which is one of the best movies ever made. Vince Vaughn doesn’t even have to speak and I am rolling on the floor laughing (sorry, young people – ROTF). If a documentary is made about any topic, I will find it interesting. Add some dramatic music and narration, and you could be telling me about how to fold a box and I will be convinced it’s of critical importance. And I will typically watch dramas in only two forms – political (ideally, based on real-life events. I was as excited for Frost/Nixon as some people are for The Hobbit) or psychological. I guess I like movies about people more dysfunctional than myself because they make me feel normal. That’s where Silver Linings Playbook comes in.

I have chills!

I have chills!

I don’t think I’ll be giving much away in the following paragraphs, so feel free to read on if you’re planning on seeing this movie. Unless basic plot counts as a spoiler, then SPOILER ALERT!!! BASIC PLOT WILL BE DISCUSSED!!! I’m just trying to cover my bases. If you opt to stop here, I’ll take the fact that you’ve read this far as a compliment. Thank you.

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