“Saving Mr. Banks” Didn’t Get Nominated for Best Picture? What the Damn Hell.

I don’t get out much, as most of you know, and I certainly never get to go to movies. But once a year, a movie comes out that is not optional to miss, and Saving Mr. Banks was that movie of 2013 for me. You might think that I have a slight bias towards Saving Mr. Banks because it is about the making of Mary Poppins, which is a movie starring Julie Andrews, a woman I love and am obsessed with, but I’m here to set the record straight – I am biased, yes. But despite my underlying Julie Andrews agenda drawing me in to see it, Saving Mr. Banks is really a fabulous movie. And although some of the highlights for me were the 2 minute glimpses of Mary Poppins that show Julie Andrews, there are objectively a million other amazing scenes in Saving Mr. Banks that make it definitely worth seeing for those of you that aren’t quite as…unstable as me, in the Julie Andrews section of your brain. Not only do I think the movie is very good, but I also think it is asinine (that’s right, Academy, I said ASININE) that Saving Mr. Banks is not nominated for Best Picture. Or that Emma Thompson wasn’t nominated as Best Actress! It boggles my mind. I mean, Meryl Streep and Judi Dench? Never heard of em. Amy Adams? Seriously? Cate Blanchett? I couldn’t pick her out of a line-up. And do not even get me started about Sandra Bullock. Oh my god.

Oh, I’m not nominated? Well, that’s hilariously charming and ASININE.

Academy Awards Highs and Lows

Posted by: Alex

When the Academy Awards started on Sunday, I was all amped up like I usually am on Oscar night. We typically host a tiny Oscar party, but this year we decided to keep it to just the two of us, as we would need to DVR the whole thing so we could pause it while we attempt to put our baby to sleep. We knew this would require approximately 400 pauses, so we chose not to host this time around. Instead, we ate Chinese take-out (we search for any excuse to have Chinese take-out in our house. “Ooh, the SAG awards are on! We should eat Chinese.” “Ooh, looks like Stassi might be an asshole again tonight on Vanderpump Rules. Guess we should eat Chinese,” etc.) and sat around in our comfies to watch the show.

I set up my computer in preparation for the funnies that would pour out of me as I watched the drama unfold. But as Seth McFarlane started his monologue, I noticed that my fingers were hunched over the keyboard, ready to type, and nothing was happening. I had nothing funny to say because I wasn’t thinking any funny thoughts. I was mostly thinking, “Huh. That is sort of amusing what he just said. I don’t think it’s hilarious or shocking, but I also don’t think it’s ridiculously stupid and embarrassing. I just think it’s fine.” And I felt that way throughout the entire broadcast. Seth McFarlane didn’t bomb the whole thing, he just kept it safe. He did enough to not be known as the next Dave Letterman (“Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma.” I actually think this joke was given a bad rap. It’s kind of amusing, if you think about it! Uma and Oprah. What kooky names. See? Is it funny now that I’ve explained it like that?), but not enough to be Billy “I’m here to save the day” Crystal. And I hope his prediction is correct that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will host next year, because that would be maj-ah, as Victoria Beckham would say.

So instead of a play by play, I’m offering some of my highs and lows. Keep in mind that many of my lows might be your highs, and vice versa. For instance, I have a deep dislike for Anne Hathaway that stems from nowhere, and these negative feelings tend to taint everything she says and does. But some people like Anne! Like, really like her! Not even as a practical joke on me! On the other hand, I love Barbra Streisand. Some people, for some reason, do not feel the same affinity towards Babs. I get that. But keep these things in mind, going forward.