2012 Emmy Awards – The What Alex Saw Edition

24 Sep

Posted by: Alex

7pm – The Emmy’s are starting! The only night of the year when TV actors are not overshadowed by movie stars.

7:03pmThat opening was funny! Way to kill it, Jimmy Kimmel and various delightful women of comedy. And props to Lena Dunham for being naked, as usual.

7:07pm – What’s wrong with Jon Hamm’s collar? Maybe his privates are so large that it alters the way the tops of his clothes fit?

7:11pm – Watching the year in comedy recap is like watching a slide show at a good friend’s wedding. That’s how emotional and happy it makes me.

7:12pm – Please let Schmidt from New Girl win. Please let Schmidt from New Girl win. Oh, shock! One of the 14 people nominated from Modern Family won. This gives me a pretty good idea of how the night will go. Modern Family will be the One Direction of the Emmy’s.

7:19pm – I think Zooey looks adorable. And she doesn’t annoy me. Like, ever. This is a controversial statement I just said.

7:20pm – I need to start watching Louie, right? I mean, he just won the Emmy. It looks great and it’s supposed to be the best comedy show on television ever or something. Like, better than M.A.S.H!  Or even Growing Pains.

7:23pmKat Dennings’ boobs blow me away every time I see them. Dan just said “boobs are in this year.” Boobs are in every year, Dan. They are timeless.

7:24pmThe lady from Modern Family just won. What did I tell you people?

7:31pm – On a sad Friday night last week, Dan and I watched the first episode of Matthew Perry’s new show, Go On. Let’s just put it this way – the night didn’t start out sad. Here’s hoping a Friends reunion happens sometime in the next 5 years, buddy!

7:34pmSteve Levitan, the director of Modern Family, looks like a mix of Mark Cuban and Ray Romano. That’s the funniest thing about him, according to me.

7:37pm – Ooh, I love me some Mindy Kaling, but I am not loving her dress. Love the color, but nothing else. OMG, I’m like the Joan Rivers of this blog right now!

7:39pm – I have never seen an episode of Two and a Half Men, but do you know who has? MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. Also, Duckie just broke Alec Baldwin’s winning streak! Yowzas!

7:47pm – The acceptance speech mix-up bit that Julia Louis-Dreyfuss just did made her win worthwhile, even though she is the only one I wasn’t rooting for. If Will Arnett isn’t interested in being married to Amy Poehler, by the way, I will marry her.

7:50pm – It’s funny to see Antiques Roadshow lumped in with Jersey Shore in a montage because they are the technically the same genre of television.

7:52pm – I understand why The Amazing Race wins best reality show every year – it is a very good show. But does anyone watch it anymore? I think it’s in its 56th season. How many bridges are left to bungee jump off of?

7:59pmRoger Lodge, beloved host of Blind Date, just got his due! Thank you, Seth McFarlane. It was owed to him eons ago.

8pm – The fact that Tom Bergeron keeps getting to win Emmy’s makes the validity of this program questionable to me.

8:03pm – What’s sad is that the recap of television dramas just reminded me that the only “drama” I regularly watch is Smash…Huh.

8:06pm – I think that dude who just won for Breaking Bad might be on meth right now.

8:13pmClaire Danes seriously does not find Jimmy Kimmel funny in any way.

8:17pm – The writers for Homeland were not only the first people to have their acceptance speech cut off with the goodbye now music, but the lights on them actually shut off, as well. Good call, sound and lighting crews. You should win an Emmy.

8:25pm – Who is this presenter with the half-committed Mohawk?

8:26pm – This “In Memoriam” to Jimmy Kimmel is amazing.

8:28pm – Poor Jon Hamm. You are too beautiful to keep not winning. And are Damien Lewis’ kids named Maddow and Gallivut? I swear that’s what he just said. I’m surprised a Brit would name his daughter after Rachel Maddow.

8:37pm – How can someone not be in love with Tina Fey? I challenge you to tell me how.

8:39pm – I think Claire Danes just won an Emmy for My So-Called Life! Finally.

8:48pm – This Fage Yogurt commercial is so cocky.

8:51pmRicky Gervais is endlessly entertaining. And, oh my god, Louis C.K. is up for every single award.

8:57pm – Yay, The Daily Show! My deep, deep love for Jon Stewart burns stronger and fiercer with every gray hair he grows on that gorgeous head of his.

9:04pm – Do you think that Julianne Moore is embarrassed that she did that Sarah Palin movie, or just deeply ashamed.

9:08pm – Why do all winners attempt to exit the stage the wrong way? Have they not seen everyone else do it all night? Are they not watching what I’m watching?

9:16pm – Uh oh. Tom Berenger is ignoring the go away music. I’m scared he’s never going to stop talking nonsense.

9:18pm – I just called what would be the most shocking Hollywood divorce: Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. ALEX FOR THE WIN!

9:19pm – “The Way We Were” is the saddest song ever. And I miss Andy Rooney so, so much.

9:28pm – I take back that comment about Julianne Moore being ashamed. She won an award for putting on glasses and saying that line about lipstick on a pig. Well played, Julianne. Maybe this is foreshadowing that Rob Lowe will win for his dramatic portrayal of Drew Peterson.

9:38pm – I wonder if Kevin Costner didn’t wear a tie because he had to pawn them all after he made Waterworld. I have just proven that it is literally never too late for a Waterworld joke.  

9:45pm – Andre Braugher thinks he’s James Earl Jones. It’s sweet.

9:48pm – I hope, for Dan’s sake, that Game of Thrones wins Best Drama or Dan will pout all night.

9:49pmOh no.

9:56pm – Alex P. Keaton got a standing o! Love it.

9:56pmModern Family won Best Comedy. I hope one of those charming child actors says something hilarious and unexpected! Or maybe Markray Cubano could just talk.

9:58pm – Well, it’s all over until next year. I’ll start watching Louie and I guess I’ll cancel my dinner party with me, Claire Danes and Jimmy Kimmel.

4 Responses to “2012 Emmy Awards – The What Alex Saw Edition”

  1. wearetheandrewsfamily September 24, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    Louie is a really good show. It has an interesting style.

    PS this is Jim. I don’t think Tanisha likes it.

  2. athed September 24, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

    I think I would love it. We watched an episode last week and were very, very confused. I’ll start from the beginning, though, and tell you how it goes!

    • wearetheandrewsfamily September 24, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

      Yes, if you watched the episode about the Late Show, it would be very confusing.

  3. athed September 24, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    That was the one. We very much did not understand anything.

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