She Said/She Said: The Dark Knight Rises Edition!

31 Aug

We’re going to get all spoiler-y up in here, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet, please enjoy this trailer, dubbed by Pee Wee Herman;

Alex says:

I’d like to start this post by saying that I have been a Batman fan since the year 1989 when Mr. Mom himself donned the rubber suit and mask, and Jack Nicholson fell into a vat of acid. I was obsessed – I watched Batman a million times, had a t-shirt with the bat on it, and traded bubble gum cards. Yes, I said bubble gum cards. That love of Batman has never dissipated and I have been enamored with every single Batman offspring since, from Batman Forever to The Dark Knight. Keep this in mind as I tell you that I didn’t like The Dark Knight Rises.

My friend and I laughed every time their crotches were remotely on the screen.

Let’s start with the things I did like about the movie:

1. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman – The words “I liked Anne Hathaway in this movie” have literally never come out of my mouth because I have an irrational hatred of Anne Hathaway. I don’t hate her movies, mind you, I just don’t like her in them. I think this derives from a deep envy that she worked with Julie Andrews in the Princess Diaries and they’re all buddy-buddy now. That should have been me, and we all know it. But back to Batman – I think Anne was a great Catwoman and looked hot in her leather cat outfit. She was sassy and tough and I didn’t hate seeing her every time she was on screen. That’s pretty much the best I can do on the subject of Anne Hathaway.

2.  Joseph Gordon Levitt – Yum. Even with his cheesy role and forced Bostonian accent, he is so hot and charming. And he really cared about those orphans. So much so that he advised them to go die on a bus, rather than just out on a bridge! What a man. And he left the movie open to a Robin franchise, which makes me elated.

3. The fight scenes – I’m not really into violence, but watching the drawn out fight sequences between Bruce Wayne and Bane was satisfying. On that note, Tom Hardy had a lot to live up to, being the follow-up nemesis to Heath Ledger (who was AMAZING in every possible way as the Joker), and I thought he held up quite well.

Now to what I didn’t like:

1. Did it need to be 5 hours long? My child-like attention span cannot focus for this amount of time, unless you make it much more interesting.

2. I was confused 90% of the time. Batman movies should not confuse me that much.

3. I paid to see Batman, not Bruce Wayne getting his ass kicked. Christian Bale was in the costume for approximately 20 minutes of the 7 hour movie.

4. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. Woops! Force of habit. She was fine.

Damn you, Anne Hathaway. Damn you.

MtheP says:

I’ve always loved action movies – if there’s a superhero or a car chase or a ‘splosion in the trailer, I’m already sold. Maybe that’s why I’m so willing to overlook the shortcomings in The Dark Knight Rises, and still be pleased with the final installment of Nolan’s trilogy.  This movie had some high expectations to live up to after The Dark Knight, and I’ll concede that it didn’t reach that level of awesomeness, but I still thought it was a solid and satisfying ending point.


I kind of want to start leaving these marks around town.

Is it too cheesy to say that Alfred is the heart of this series? Ok, well, I’m going to say it anyway. Michael Caine stole every scene he was in (all two of them, at least). He was always there with a snide remark to keep Bruce Wayne humble, or some tough love to try to keep him alive. Plus, he wins the award for making me cry (twice!) in a Batman movie, which I’m pretty sure has never happened in the history of Batman movies.

In retrospect, it was pretty obvious that they were setting up Officer Blake to be Robin throughout the whole film, but I honestly didn’t suspect it until the end. I do wish the reveal was done in a more subtle way (I could practically hear the dramatic chipmunk refrain after the clerk basically says, “oh, I like your real name, ROBIN, so much better!”), but I’ll take Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Robin any way I can get it. Including pretending that Premium Rush is some sort of training exercise for Robin, and not actually a movie that JGL voluntarily participated in.

And finally, I have been waiting for Batman and Catwoman to get together, ever since Michael Keaton and Michelle Pfeiffer taught me the meaning of a love-hate relationship. I would totally watch the rom-com version of the wacky adventures they’ll have while adjusting to their non-crime fighting, non-petty theft lives abroad. It’d be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith in reverse!


Bane makes a better meme than a villain.

I get it, Bane is big, and his face was clawed off, and that’s supposed to make him really scary, but I thought he was the most meh villain of the series for me. Or maybe Health Ledger’s Joker just set the bar too high. That unintelligible voice, and all that vest-holding bothered me to the point that I couldn’t even think of him as a threat  – even after he snapped Batman in half like a twig. At least he’s memorable though, since I pretty much forgot that  Miranda Tate/Talia Al Ghul even existed.

The biggest complaint I had with the movie, was that the tactics and bit-characters Nolan used to achieve his 99%/Occupy Gotham plot line were just a confused mess. Until looking them up on IMDB, Daggett was just “evil mock turtle-neck guy” and Stryver was “weird plastic surgery face guy.” As a testament to their irrelevance, I couldn’t even find a usable photo of them from the movie to link to. I’m not sure how it could have been simplified, or if that would even have been an improvement, but it seemed like a lot of wasted effort just to get to the part where all the poors were beating up on all the rich.

The Dark Knight Rises is solidly my second favorite of this trilogy, which I guess isn’t saying that much. Yes, Bane’s voice was grating, and yes, it was long-winded, and okay, it was a pretty confusing at times – but I think it accomplished exactly what it needed to close out the series. Sad-sack Bruce Wayne martyrs himself to save his city, and still gets a happy ending with a fellow masked crusader. Alfred gets a house full of orphans to spend his remaining days looking after, and Robin inherits a slightly used Bat Cave. As satisfying as all this was, I will also admit that it did leave a rather large plot hole in its wake:

2 Responses to “She Said/She Said: The Dark Knight Rises Edition!”

  1. Elise September 4, 2012 at 10:47 am #

    Nice summary ladies. I loved the movie but agree that Bane could have been a little more creepy. Although, now that I think about it, when I saw a couple of children in the theater I thought, “Those poor kids are going to be terrified! Why would you bring a child to this movie?!”

    • athed September 4, 2012 at 1:11 pm #

      When I could understand what he was saying, I thought he was pretty creepy.

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